My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
i can't believe i had my finger in that
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
