I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Ambien. No doubt about it.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
