i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
