doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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