jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
