Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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