Hey man sorry I got all grabby
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
