It's Friday. Sex?
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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