I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
he had hair everywhere except his balls
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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