does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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