i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
