Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
