so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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