your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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