My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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