I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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