bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
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