Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
