oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
