whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
