Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
