I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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