I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
