also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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