I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
