He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
