Sry I called you an 8
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
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