I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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