Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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