I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
