I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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