are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
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