My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
The best revenge is premature balding
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
