whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
