UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
