Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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