butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
