seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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