everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
