You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
