This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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