so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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