It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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