the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
