I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
