I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
