Come see our sink grown plant.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Randomize
