And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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