im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
