When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
